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Playing It Safe

“You can never be too careful”. This was Fred’s approach to life. And it worked – for awhile. But as Fred watched others go about their business, he began to wonder if he was missing out on something. More motivated by fear than by excitement, he avoided taking risks, whenever possible. He was playing it safe.

Yet, he admired his friends who could be risk takers. But each time he tied to emulate them, he found himself focusing on the hazards and hardships of “what might happen –if”. He was hesitant to set himself up for failure or rejection. Why not play it safe like he had been trained to do since childhood?

It took many years for Fred to appreciate how much his “safety first” philosophy was costing him. Here’s what he realized as he took a closer look at his life:

• Playing it safe was restricting his thinking. Fred was in the habit of quickly saying “no” to possibilities beyond a narrow preconceived range of options. In addition, he would put enormous energy into finding fault with whatever he perceived as being risky. Indeed, he was an expert in worrying about every possible shortcoming, setback, pitfall, problem or calamity that might result if he were to act on an idea that he was “uncomfortable” with.
• Playing it safe was pinching his choices. Since Fred’s thinking was so narrow, it was no surprise that he felt hemmed in by the world rather than feeling free to explore a variety of options in his personal and professional life. He imagined that he had no choice but to live within his too-tight comfort zone, then complain, “I’m stuck in a place I don’t want to be in, but I have no options.”
• Playing it safe was squeezing all the excitement, fun, and juiciness out of life. It was not unusual for Fred to feel physically exhausted and emotionally depleted. So much of his energy was invested in “being careful” that he rarely responded to experiences with joy and exuberance. Life became “just one damn thing after another.” Tossing out the lightness and delight of life, he staggered under the burden of constantly needing to watch out for the dangers.

When you constantly play it safe, what remains are the routine, mundane, everyday situations – as well as the crises and tragedies that none of us can escape. But life doesn’t have to be lived that way.  If you, like Fred, feel that playing it safe is costing you your enjoyment of life, it’s time to make a change. Start now! Don’t wait until years later when you will regret the time you have lost. The next time you have a choice to make, try putting safety concerns more in the background. Then notice what other considerations become foreground.

To paraphrase Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, life must be lived forward, yet we understand it only by looking backward.

Copyright 2005