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Lower Your Standards
If you are known for being lazy, sluggish, slothful and lacking a shred of ambition, then stop reading. Nothing I say in this column applies to you.
If, on the other hand, you are known for being meticulous, demanding, precise, and highly ambitious, do not put this column down. Read it and refer to it often.
If you are an exacting person who demands much of yourself (and others), consider reversing your direction. That’s right- consider lowering your standards -easing up on your yardstick -letting go of the need for meticulous accuracy.
What? Are those heart palpitations you’re experiencing? Are you accusing me of being nuts, incompetent or worse? Have you crumpled up this article and thrown it out already?
I hope not. I hope you’re still with me so I can explain further.
Now, I don’t know who you are or what drives you, but I assure you that I’m not recommending that you be careless or lazy about important responsibilities or interests.
If you’re a radiologist, I don’t believe that you should be less meticulous in reading x-rays. But you should be aware that even the top 20 radiologists in this country only have a diagnostic accuracy rate of 94%. So if you insist on 100% accuracy for yourself, you will not be a better radiologist. You will only develop a habit of “overreading” images calling normal findings abnormal creating unnecessary distress for healthy patients.
If you are an aeronautical engineer, I don’t suggest that you be cavalier in regard to your responsibilities. But you should realize that if the meticulous accuracy of your job becomes your modus operandi for dealing with other aspects of life, you are in trouble. Not sure what I’m talking about? Just ask your spouse and kids to give you some honest feedback.
If you are an avid golfer who is passionate about the game but frequently walks off the course self-critical and disgusted, it’s time to lower your standards. Am I implying that you shouldn’t care about how you play? Not at all. But, wouldn’t it be a pleasure if at the end of a great round of golf, you can pat yourself on the back without reproaching yourself for not playing this way all the time? And wouldn’t it be great, if when you do play your typical game (which you will do most of the time), you can still walk off the course smiling rather than berating yourself for not being a star.
So, here’s to lowering your standards. May it bring you health and happiness.
Copyright 2007: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior.
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