Three Top Reasons Your New Year’s Resolutions Will Fizzle

This is the time of year for making as well as breaking resolutions. Most resolutions – particularly those that deal with perennial problems - such as eating less, exercising more, getting better organized – have a shelf life of less than a week.
You start off hopeful. You want to do better. You want to be better. You’re tired of your life being one long disconnect between what you want to do and what you get around to doing.

But then reality kicks in. Like a Hamlet in the world of action, you find yourself torn between two impulses: “to do or not to do.” This ambivalence makes it tough to choose a clear commitment to action. So what happens?

Your determination weakens. It’s too hard. It’s too burdensome. Why kid yourself? Are you really going to shed those pounds? Get yourself in shape? Be more organized? Work more efficiently?

You surrender. It’s not going to happen. You become cynical. It’s stupid to make New Year’s resolutions. They don’t work. They’re a waste of time - especially in the digital age. Beepers beckon, digital devices ding, social networks seduce. With all those accessible, appealing, addictive distractions, how does anybody get anything done?

You give up. You go back to spending countless hours immersed in activity that has nothing to do with your resolutions. No big deal. You only go around once, right? Why not just give in to your impulse of the moment?

Yet in those quiet moments of solitude when you’re honest with yourself, you admit you can do better. Why give up on your goals? This year, make sustainable resolutions by avoiding these mistakes:

#1 Resolutions that are way too ambitious.
Sure, you want to bring about dramatic change. Unfortunately, change doesn’t work that way.

Instead of resolving to lose 30 pounds, aim simply to lose 5 pounds in January. But what if you really want to lose 30 pounds? Lose 5 in January. Rejoice in your achievement. When you do, you’ll be motivated to continue whatever you’ve been doing to lose the weight. Why? Because nothing succeeds like success.

#2. Resolutions that demand you do what you hate doing. You want to get in shape but hate going to the gym. You pay for a gym membership and promise yourself you’ll go. Yeah, right. Gyms get rich on people like you. If you hate the gym, don’t go.

Instead of insisting that you do what you dislike, find a physical activity that you enjoy. Maybe it’s a sport. Or a martial arts program. Or yoga. Or Pilates. Or dancing. Or cycling. Squash the “Yes, but” excuses. Just begin. And notice how much better you feel when you do something that you enjoy.

#3 Resolutions that are overly conceptual. “I want to get more organized,” is a good concept. Who wouldn’t want to be more organized? (Okay, maybe if you’re a nitpicking perfectionist, you might wish you were less organized).

Instead of focusing on the concept, hone in on specific actions to take that will result in your being more organized. Here are three such actions:

  • Resolve to spend 15 minutes every day organizing stuff on your desk.
  • Resolve to discard at least 10 items of clothing you no longer wear.
  • Resolve to purchase organizing aids for your most disorganized areas.”

Now, are you ready? Ready for what? Ready to make sustainable resolutions that will nurture your best self. Anybody against that?

Copyright 2012