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Be Your Own Nurturing Parent

So, your parents didn’t always say the best things to you. Maybe they told you, you were “lazy”, “sloppy”, “slow” or “careless”. Or maybe they didn’t hedge their words and called you “stupid” or “ugly” or “that you’d never amount to anything” or that “you’re just like your father” – with that disdainful tone of voice.

Ok. That was a rocky start. Not the best beginning. But does that have to be your life long legacy? Do you still keep those words in your head, allowing them to define who you are?

I hope not. For you have the power to change all that. Now, right now.

You have the power to make those words be a faint and distant memory, as you let them dissipate into the air. Then, free from the burden that held you back, you entrust yourself to a new 'nurturing parent'.

Where does this new 'nurturing parent' come from? It comes from the very best part of you. The part that knows you, appreciates you and delights in your growth.

Only one hitch. You have to be willing to talk to yourself. Sometimes silently; sometimes out loud. (Many people hesitate to talk to themselves, for fear it’s a sign that they’re going crazy.)

But you are not crazy. For you, talking to yourself is healthy, if (and this is the big if) you’re actively encouraging, caring, and nourishing to yourself.

Yes, no matter whom your parents were and what disparaging things they told you, you can redefine it all. You do this by cultivating your very own ‘nurturing parent’ and letting her dwell inside of you. She/he will give you good feedback, such as:

“You’re doing well.”
“Good job!”
“Wow, look at the progress you've made.”

She is your best friend. But more than that, she is also your teacher. She may remind you that you need to:

“Keep plugging away.”
“Take a rest now; you’ve done enough.”
“There is a light at the end of the tunnel.”

This new parent is not the critic - (you’ve had enough of that). Neither is she the sidekick who supports your own worst impulses. No, your nurturing parent speaks with wisdom, maturity, and compassion. You can count on her. She will lovingly help you, particularly when you’re feeling down.

Frequently talk to your ‘nurturing parent’. Ask her how to tackle a project. Ask her what’s most important. Then relax, and listen to her answers. She will be there with honesty to guide you, support you and to share your laughter and sorrows.

Knowing your 'nurturing parent' is there with you is knowing that no matter what, you’re not alone.

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