There’s nothing like a good love story to bring joy to the world. And could there have been a more beautiful love story than the fairy tale marriage of Kate and William, two young, beautiful people with everything going for them, have a real possibility of living “happily ever after.”
Now back to the real world.
When Sandra met Sam, she believed she had met her prince. “I was ecstatic,” she declared. “I was on a high from being in love. Things were better than I had dreamed of. But then…”. Yes, the devil is in the details that follow, “But then….”
“But then… she continued, “I didn’t feel so close to him. I couldn’t always talk to him about what was bothering me. And he started to seem like the problem, instead of the solution.”
What happens to love? Can’t love sustain itself? Or should love be stamped with an expiration date, just like our food? As with many things in life, the answer is - it depends.
If you’re visualizing the ‘crazy in love’ feeling that leaves you ‘walking on air,’ yes, there’s an expiration date – longer for some, shorter for others.
If you’re craving ‘two loving minds with a single thought,’ and spurning ‘two minds with two differing thoughts,’ you’re in for a rude awakening.
So yes, the ‘crazy in love’ feeling will fade. But the loving, caring, endearing and enchanting aspects of a relationship do not come with an expiration date, though it does expire for many.
Looking to keep your relationship regal and royal? Here are some tips for you:
Love is not only an outside connection, it’s also an inside connection. If you look to an external source to feed your hunger, you’ll soon be disappointed. Though a lover can be a temporary distraction from sadness or loneliness, he/she cannot be a permanent distraction. A spouse, even a loving spouse, cannot meet all of our needs. Expecting too much from someone puts unhealthy pressure on the relationship. So, build up your love for yourself, not in a selfish way, but in a caring, loving, attentive way. Develop your interests and friendships. Appreciate being alone with yourself. Be grateful for what you have. Enjoy your day. That way you’ll have good things to bring to your partner, and hopefully, your love will reciprocate in kind.
Realize too that there are ups and downs in every relationship. Two people are not always on the same page. Sure, you expected that. But did you expect that, at times, you’d feel that you’re not even living on the same planet? You think this is the way to manage money, to raise children, to spend the weekend? Are you for real? Yes, he (or she) is for real. Though you may have thought you had met your perfect soul mate, may I remind you that perfection doesn't exist? You either had false assumptions. Or he changed. Or you changed. So, talk out your differences in a respectful manner. The key to a royal relationship is to be able to discuss matters without fear of retaliation, humiliation, or degradation.
Even if you’re a royal, life’s stresses will get to you. So what do you do? Snap at your spouse? Blame everything on him or her? Expect him to fix it all? Surely you know that none of that is fair, but when you’re stressed, you’re short-tempered. And when you’re short-tempered, you react with anger. You accuse, you blame, you complain. That’s just the ABC’s of it. Then you may whiz right through the alphabet, ending with the XYZ’s of it; you X-ray the issue, you yammer on, you zip right past his explanation. If you’re feeling righteous indignation, you'll likely feel entitled to act like this. You need the release. However, if your release becomes incessant and unrelenting, it turns poisonous. Find other ways to vent your frustration.
No, you’re not royalty. But here’s wishing that some of the royal, magical, loving fairy dust that’s in the air today is sprinkled on your relationship.