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Let It Go!
“Regrets, I’ve had a few, too few to mention,” crooned Sinatra.
If your regrets are too few to mention, then you’re probably skilled at ‘letting go’ of whatever didn’t work out right. If, however, your regrets are too many to mention, then you need a few tips on how to ‘let go’.
Here are a few strategies that will help you:
Acknowledge that everything won’t work out in your favor.
If your decisions have worked out well for you in the past, you’re likely to expect them to keep working out well. Not going to happen. Sooner or later, you’ll make a choice you regret. Something will happen to you that you never expected. Rather than dwell on what “should” be or what you “should” have done, learn from the experience. In addition, feel appreciative for all that has worked out well for you instead of continuing to regret what didn’t.
Learn from your regrets.
As we get older, it’s often the things we haven’t done that we regret the most. Oh, if only: I had told her what I was really thinking; I had raised my kids differently; I had lived my life with more adventure. Agreed, you can’t redo the past. You can, however, live your best life now. Be more open in your communication now. Enhance your relationship with your children now. Be more adventurous now. To let in a brighter future, you need to let go of a penitent past.
Close the chapter.
Make it a done deal. It is what it is. Now what? If you didn’t pull out your money from the stock market before it tanked, you can berate yourself forever. Let yesterday’s news be yesterday’s news. Close the chapter and move on to today’s chapter. Reflect on how you want today to be; envision what you want tomorrow to be.
Write it down.
When we write something down, it’s easier for us to let it go. It’s there on paper if we ever have a need to visit it again. So, use your creative juices. Write down what you’re having trouble letting go of. Write it as a poem, as a story, as a song. Or, draw a picture of it. Kids love doing this. And there’s a kid part inside you that just might make this work.
Listen to the Beatles Song –“Let it Be” “Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be”
Listen to all the verses and you will hear the lyrics “let it be” repeated more than 25 times – enough for it to sink into your brain. Better yet, sing the song “Let It Be”, imagining that maybe, just maybe, you can, indeed, let it be.
Copyright 2009: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior.
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