When Fear is in the Air

It’s strange that we live in an age in which we’re healthier, safer, richer and living far longer than previous generations ever dreamed of, yet none of that seems to make us feel safer or more at ease. Indeed, it’s often true that the more we know, the longer we live, the wealthier we are, the more frightened we feel.

Anyone remember the days before air bags and bike helmets? Before every lump and bump made us terrified of cancer? Before the ‘’bleed it leads” tragedy didn’t intrude upon the sanctity of our homes? Before we didn’t worry about our kids getting kidnapped? Before we weren’t concerned about what the stock market was doing because we had no money to invest?

In those days, we were actually more vulnerable, yet, we were less aware of our vulnerability. We enjoyed life more because we knew less. I’m not suggesting that ignorance is bliss. And I’m not advocating going back to the days in which we were oblivious about many matters. But I am suggesting that we need to learn new ways to live consciously without fear directing our every move.

A fearful lifestyle is exhausting and enervating. It restricts your activities, constricts your thinking, limits your choices and squeezes the juiciness out of life – without making life one bit safer. Two things remain when joy and delight vanish from life. Routine, mundane, ho-hum stuff to take care of and occasional troubles and tragedies that none of us can escape.

Is this any way to live? You know the answer.

It took many years for Alana to fully appreciate that she was spending way too much time focusing on the hazards and hardships of life. Indeed, for Alana, life had become “just one damn thing after another.”

Though nobody enjoys leading a fear-burdened life, many people believe that they have no choice. It’s just the way they’re built. Though it may be true that you were born with a fearful nature, you can still acquire skills that will help you to “chill out” rather than “freak out.”

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

  • Do not exaggerate the danger. If you’re not sure whether you’re blowing fear out of proportion, ask trusted friends, (Caution: don’t turn to a gloom-and-doom buddy who will instinctively reinforce your worst fears.)
  • Just because something is possible doesn’t make it probable. Though it’s possible that the plane you’re on may crash, it probably won’t. Indeed the latest statistics indicate that not only is it safer to travel by plane than by car, it’s safer than being at home.
  • Despite being afraid, take an action. Don’t just sit still and ruminate about your fears. Push past the fear and do what you think you cannot do.
  • Comfort yourself. It’s not just little kids who want to be told, “It’s okay. We can deal with this.” Adults do too. So, though friends and family can be a great source of comfort, they won’t be with you 24/7. So make sure your self-talk is soothing, supporting and reassuring.
  • Turn fear thoughts into more hopeful thoughts. Instead of telling yourself that “this is the worst thing that could have happened,” tell yourself that “this is a tough situation I need to face but I won’t let it destroy me.”
  • Finally, let go of fear not only by relaxing your mind, but by relaxing your body. Breathe deeply. Eat well. Get enough sleep. Spend time with upbeat people. Stretch your muscles – particularly those in your neck and shoulders. And listen to your favorite music.

Copyright 2011