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Ending Your Sentence

A sentence is a sentence. What difference does it make how you end it? The difference is greater than you might imagine.

How you end your statement can change how you feel about a given situation. Some endings create feelings of hopelessness and helplessness; others trigger feelings of effectiveness and empowerment.

To walk down the latter path, it’s a good idea to avoid having “I can’t” and “I don’t know” statements stand by themselves. Instead, create a compound sentence that ends with a more upbeat thought. With this simple act, you'll find yourself feeling more empowered, less helpless.

Here’s an exercise that will help clarify this point:

Complete the following two sentences with matter relevant to your life:

I can’t __________________________________________________.

I don’t know how ________________________________________.

Now, keep the same sentence but also complete the new phrase.

I can’t ___________________but one thing I can do is _________________.”

I don’t know how _____________ but one thing I do know is____________.”

What did you notice when you did this exercise?

Most people notice that this simple, verbal change helps them feel less overwhelmed, more empowered. Any given situation no longer seems so insurmountable.

See how this worked for Martha who was anxious about her responsibilities. “I have so much to do before the kids go back to school. I don’t know how I’ll ever get it done.” Her words left her feeling as though she had no control over her situation. As she revised her statement, she gained a more realistic perspective.

“I have so much to do before the kids go back to school. I don’t know how I’ll ever get it done, but one thing I do know is that whatever is absolutely necessary will be taken care of and the rest I can get to later.” Now she’s no longer boxed into a corner. She’s not responsible for everything. She hasn’t given herself a limited timeframe. She’s not demanding perfection.

Martha can also amplify her statement by defining specific timelines. For example, she could say, “I’ll set aside two days for shopping for clothes and school supplies. Whatever gets done, gets done. Whatever is not completed won’t be a crisis, even though my kid might act as though it is.”

It pays to pay attention to how you end your sentences. Notice if your endings are usually pessimistic or upbeat. Ending on a more positive note can turn your life around.

Read these two sentences:

“The weather has been nice most of the summer but it’s awful this weekend.”

“The weather is awful this weekend but it’s been nice most of the summer.”

Same words. Different order. Which ending do you think is better for your frame of mind?

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