The disturbing thing about crises is that we often don’t know if we are really in the midst of one or if we are excessively worried or if we are being manipulated by crisis-makers (read: hysterical, high-strung people) or if our strings are being pulled by those who believe that they must “save us” from some terrible aftermath.
Two political examples:
WMD? Should we be grateful that none were found? Or outraged that a war was launched upon the authenticity of this “crisis”?
Social Security? Should we act now to ward off a catastrophe? Or will taking action now create a catastrophe because there never was a crisis to begin with?
You see, it’s difficult for those who are emotionally stressed or who have an agenda to advance, to speak about a problem without turning it into a crisis. This is true, not only in the political arena, but also in your very own home.
“You have to drive me to the mall right now! No, we can’t go later. It has to be now. Michelle is waiting for me!!!!!!”
“I have this sinking feeling that I’m going to get fired. I’ll be devastated if I am. We’ll have to move and I don’t know where or how we’ll live!!!!!!”
“I’m out of my mind with worry ever since I felt this lump on my scalp. Oh my God, with my luck, it’ll probably be a brain tumor!!!!!!”
When tension is this high, almost anything can feel like a crisis. When there is a steady beat of bad/ bad/ bad/fear/fear/fear directing your thoughts and energies, it is much too easy to make the worst-case scenario into a first-case scenario.
If you have a “crisis quotient” that you would like to lower, keep these thoughts in mind:
There are very few true crises in one’s life. If you think of a crisis as an emergency, a catastrophe, a disaster, a crossroad with a point of no return, you realize that most people have only a few such events in their whole entire lives. Not getting into the college of your choice is not a catastrophe; it is a disappointment. Washing machine breaking down, car stalling, kids driving you nuts, all in the same day, is a bummer, not a crisis.
Crisis-makers tend to use overdramatic, polarizing language. Unless it truly is a tragedy, avoid extremes in your speech, such as, “I’m devastated; I’m crushed; I don’t know how I’ll survive this; This is awful”. As you eliminate this way of talking, you’ll find yourself becoming less addicted to a crisis-related interpretation of events. An added bonus: Crisis-making is contagious. Wouldn’t it be great if you created a more even-tempered environment for yourself as well as for others?
Life isn’t like a box of chocolates; it’s more like a buffet dinner in which you will sometimes find that you have swallowed a hot pepper. Not a good thing! Also not fatal. Do what you need to do to make yourself feel better. Learn something from the experience. And always, consult your brain before you make things worse!
